Life's Journey

I’m excited to finally get to share a bit of good news with everyone! I had my comparison PET scan last week. The purpose of this one was to compare to the scan before we started treatment and see what’s happening. In other words, this would tell us if the chemo treatment is working or not. I have come to accept that these tests and waiting for results are all now a staple in my life. This doesn’t make them any easier. I’ve been stressed out, down, and frankly worried about these results. As I’ve mentioned my cancer likes to do exactly the opposite of what it should – I am the bottom 3%. So I (and I think my doctors as well) have been prepared for the worst. For once I got good news – the scans show that the chemo is doing it’s job and my cancer is responding! Let’s take just a minute to celebrate that before I go on Woot woot! What!?!?! Virtual high fives and hugs to everyone!! Cheers! Yay! There’s dancing in the streets and music in our heads right now!

Ok, back to reality:: what does this really mean? This means that the chemo has shrunk some of the existing cancer and is holding it there. It also means it has kept it from spreading elsewhere. In my situation this is the best we could hope for! We know we are not going to cure my cancer, it will always be there so our hope is to just keep it subsided as long as we can so I can go out and enjoy life and continue crossing off that bucket list! The catch-22 right now is that while it’s working it’s taking a big toll on my body. I had treatment last week and my lab work looked really bad. My immune system was once again battered and I needed the neupogen shots to boost it = three days of bone pain. And my red blood cell and hemoglobin levels were encroaching the danger zone and they recommended a blood transfusion. I chose to hold off until this week’s lab work and see where we were. This week I had a small chemo on Tuesday. My blood results were much better so phew no blood transfusion right now. But, what all this means is that my body is having a hard time keeping up with all the damage the chemo is doing. I’m tired – really tired – almost all the time anymore. I’m also starting to get neuropathy in my toes – they are tingly and kinda numb. I’m living with a never ending headache. But, I’m a fighter and I can deal with these things. The question is how long will my body allow me to? So, my team of amazing doctors are reviewing everything and consulting to determine next steps. Can we change chemo protocol a little? Give me a break between treatments? Change chemo agents? Do I qualify for a clinical trial? Is this the opportunity to leap into that? So many questions without a lot of answers right now. For now, I am living in the moment knowing that I’m doing all I can to fight and for now… it’s working!

I know that much of my strength comes from all of you. I can say “I can deal with these things” because I have such an amazing support group with me cheering me on. I never have to go to chemo alone. There always seems to be a friend that reaches out and wants to help me through chemo days – this week it was a friend from Chicago. I am still working full time thanks to the phenomenal support I have received from my team and my peers. I have amazing angels out there that have helped me cross items off my bucket list. Friends are sending me smiles and hugs in all different forms. If you are reading this, in some way you have supported me and I’m more appreciative that I can express.

Sending hugs & smiles,
Sarah