Life's Journey

Last week was my first chemo since the holidays and it was a "big" one. I almost forgot how much chemo sucks. Ha! Unfortunately my blood work came back with super low WBC (this means my immune system is crashing again). Now, how this happens after two weeks off from chemo I'm not sure. I have to assume it's because of my wicked cold after the Vegas trip. But, here I am… low counts mean… that's right - bone pain shots. Ugh, stomp, sigh. I would be pulling my hair if I had some - hee hee (I couldn't resist that one). I had to go into the doctor's office Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday just to get a shot each day - lucky me! Ugh, these little shots sure pack a big punch. Bone pain is not something I wish for anyone, there's no escaping it and it makes me freakishly aware of all the bones in my body. Hopefully I don't have to do it again next week. Although I have been sneezing, sniffling and coughing a lot lately. We will see, next treatment is Tuesday, fingers crossed.

I keep track of my daily medications, food, and stuff in a binder that I created because, as I've mentioned in other posts, I miss my Trapper Keeper. I built spreadsheets, color coordinated, and three-hole punched everything. While filling in today's sheet, I realized that this is my 60th day into treatment. My first chemo this time around was 60 days ago exactly. Man, time plays tricks with you. It sure doesn't seem like it's been 60 days. I've had a lot of people ask me how long I'll need to be on chemo. The answer is as long as possible. The hope is that the chemo keeps the cancer at bay and maybe if I'm lucky shrinks the existing spots. We will keep doing that as long as my body can take it. Hopefully I get a break in there somewhere, but I'm just taking it one 3-week cycle at a time. Next week will be week 2 of this cycle and I'm booked through mid February. That's when we will run a comparison PET Scan to see how effective this treatment has been. Initially we planned on doing this in late January but because I recently missed two weeks of treatment we decided to go through 6 straight weeks of treatment before running a comparison. I have an appointment in a few weeks with another oncology doctor that specializes in experimental and clinical trials. Dr. Borst recommended that I see him to discuss any potential trials that I qualify for, this may give me something else to try. But, until then, chemo it is.

I've also had a lot of people reach out and ask how I'm feeling. I'd say considering I've had 60 days of chemo I'm feeling pretty good. I think the most frustrating thing is how crazy tired I am or how quickly I become tired. I've always been the go out and enjoy kind of gal. I miss mountain biking, hiking, tennis, and golf. I'm going to try golfing when it warms up a little, but I think the others are no longer on my list of current activities. I get tired and winded just going upstairs - lol (btw, that's funny cuz it's true). Sometimes I stand at the bottom of the stairs and question if I really need to go up, it seems like the longest flight of stairs ever. Beyond the fatigue the nausea gets me sometimes. I wear a sancuso patch for nausea - it's the best defender - replace it every week so I just always have one on. But sometimes I get break through nausea so I take something to supplement the patch and it usually passes. Since this is the start of a new year our health insurance reset and we are again responsible for 100% of medical expenses til we meet our deductible. I was hit with the full bill for 2 sancuso patches! Ouch! My jaw definitely dropped when I heard how much these cost, but it's my best defense so warm up the credit cards!  I could go on and on about the various side effects, but these are really the biggies or the most annoying. The other stuff is all manageable. It's really amazing how the body learns to accept things or tolerate things as the new norm, you just adjust somehow.

On a lighter note, I am excited that I am going to cross more off my bucket list this week. On Monday, Dean and I are going to a Glassblowing Class. I'm looking forward to trying something new. And this is something I've always wanted to try. It's a two hour class and we get to keep what we make. Thank you to one of my angels for making this happen for me. And, on Friday I am attempting to catch a fish and let it go! I have dear friends that have set up a great day of fishing together. Even if I don't catch something it's going to be a great day! I can't wait to show off pictures next week.

There it is… the highs and lows of the week. Not too much to shout about, but thanks to many of you I have much to look forward to. Having another adventure on the horizon means more than I can begin to explain.

Sending hugs and smiles,

Sarah