Life's Journey

My how time flies… I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I posted an update. It’s strange to me how this first round of treatment has played tricks with me. I felt ok for awhile and now am crazy tired. I can even see it in pictures of myself. I’m worn out.

This past weekend we took it fairly easy. We had our official second Thanksgiving on Friday with my folks. I mean, who gets lucky enough to repeat turkey day and have two amazing thanksgivings? That’s right… we do! It was delicious, in fact, we are still eating left overs. Good think turkey is good for you.  Then, I went to the farmers market. Man I love that! What a treat to get farm fresh organic fruit and veggies. And I get fresh harvests of wheat grass for juicing – yummy! It just makes us feel good in the morning to have freshly juices fruits, grasses, veggies, and herbs! Mmm! It really does revitalize the body and get you going. Anyway, I bought some fresh new juicing ingredients. I finished up some holiday decorations that afternoon. Then we went to “cookie mania”. This is a crazy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory type of event that one of our friends coordinates to make hundreds if not thousands of holiday cookies. We drink, mix, bake, drink some more and decorate all afternoon and late into the evening. I can’t say all the gingerbread men are rated PG, but we sure to have fun creatively decorating after a few drinks.:P I didn’t make it as long as normal but we had fun while we were there. Sunday we spent the day watching football and doing stuff around the house. It was another nice football Sunday! Back to work on Monday.

Ok, there was another adventure this weekend. I knew it was time to shave my head last Thursday… but I thought it would be nice to get a family photo on Friday (the second thanksgiving). So, I didn’t want to fully give up on my hair until after this opportunity. I was very careful not to touch or brush it too much for a few days, it was coming out it patches. We did get a really good photo – I added it to the photos page if you wanna check it out. Then Saturday I knew I didn’t really have a choice, it was time to let go of the hair. Losing your hair this way actually aches. I’m not so emotionally attached to it… it’s just hair. But, there is a physical pain that comes with this hair loss. It’s like a big bruise under each hair follicle. Every time it moves, it hurts/aches. So Saturday I decided to “empower” myself and shave myself (with a little help from Roy). Here’s the lesson: do not use a home shaver device to try to shave your head – I don’t care what they show happened on the move 50/50 (good one btw) LOL. You can’t use this type of shaver to shave your entire head. It was comical. I kept going over the same spot and Roy kept trying to do the back section but I ended up looking like I just got out of a fight with an alley cat. It was just stupid! I ended up calling my hair guru John – he makes it look so easy! He fixed it for me as best he could while still keeping some hair like a short buzz cut. But, what I’ve come to realize is that I’m going to end up shiny bald this time around. Even the short buzz cut looks like the alley cat attacked the back of my head it’s so patchy. Any I think I should shave it all the way (cue ball it), but that one’s a little tougher, can’t quite bring myself to do it yet. Instead, I bought myself a new sassy wig. It’s dark with red streaks. I love love love it.. it’s totally different than anything I’ve had but always wanted. So, it’s a fun one to wear. I slipped it on tonight when Roy and I went for sushi and sake bombers – my favorite which I will have to give up soon, sushi and chemo don’t go well together. So we are enjoying it while we can. I forgot how fun it was to be someone totally different for an evening. It was a good night out!

My next treatment is Thursday. Sigh.:/ Just when I start feeling truly human again is right when I get hit with another big fat dose of chemo. But, I can do this… just keep fighting. One day at a time. This will start the “Big Small Small” treatment plan. It’s a three week cycle. Week one (this week) I will get a dose of both carboplatin and taxol. But the taxol will be a smaller dose. Then the next two Thursdays I will get small doses of taxol. So, I’ll be getting chemo every Thursday. I’ll also get Neulasta shots – these are the ones that help my white blood cell count (WBC) so I don’t have to go into the germ-free bubble. But these are the shots that give me horrific bone pain. Hopefully thru a three week cycle I can find balance. Fingers crossed.

Tomorrow is another day… let’s see what the adventure of the day holds…

Sending hugs and smiles!
Sarah