Life's Journey

Time for another update my friends. I was sent to the Emergency Room yesterday (Friday the 24th) because of a bowel obstruction. As you know I've been having a lot of trouble healing from the colostomy surgery over the past few weeks. There's been vomiting and I've contantly felt "full" so wasn't eating much at all. I was trying so hard to keep eating and get things moving through the system but I knew in my gut that something was wrong. I kept my GI doctor (Dr. Kim) updated on everything. In fact there were a couple of times I had to go to the office for fluids and meds. So he ordered a small bowel imaging series. I had this done Friday morning. I have never had this done before so let me explain.

I arrived at the xray place and after check in waiting and blah blah we got started by taking a "before" picture of my abdomen. Then the nurse gave me two big cups of barium and told me to chug-a-lug. I was already feeling pretty nauseaus so looking at these two big cups was pretty daunting task. But, I convinced myself that they were vanilla milkshakes and drank them as fast as I could. Then they took another picture and sent me to the waiting area for 30 minutes before taking the next picture. The "30 minute picture" showed the dr that things were moving pretty slow so I was sent back to the waiting area but this time for an hour. This is definitely a test of patience. The "1 hour picture" showed that things were still moving slow and I was asked to wait another hour. I also had to drink this shot glass of what tasted like barium and gasoline which was supposed to help make things move through faster. Fingers crossed and back to the waiting room I went. It took about 20 minutes and this pain started coming on. It progressively got worse and worse in my abdomen area. I ask the nurses who in turn ask the doctors who said we need 17 more minutes before the next picture and I just had to wait. This was not a full medical facility just an xray place so it's not like they had pain meds and all kinds of doctors there. 17 minutes seemed like an eternity I was in so much pain. But I managed. The next "1 hour photo" showed the movement and SURPRISE the blockage! They found a high grade small bowel obstruction. Part of me was relieved to know that I wasn't crazy that there really was a reason I was feeling so sick and couldn't eat. The other part of me freaked out. And by now I was in so much pain that I was bent over crying. The drs at the xray place called dr kim immediately to see what I should do. I was sent straight to the ER. Everyone knew I was unable to drive so they called a cab service to take me to the hospital (this was of no charge to me). I called Roy and he met me there.

When I got to ER the waiting room was packed - great just was I needed at this moment another fucking lesson in patience. I asked for help at the registration desk, explained my situation and how much pain I was in and needing medication asap. They told me "tough luck kiddo go sit down with the masses"… so I did. About 10 minutes later they called me up for triage where I again explained my situation and my need for medication. The woman there was very nice and got me in stat. I got a bed in a pre-op area for basic treatment, pain meds, and waiting to get me registered with a room. Roy got there and I let go a little and started crying again. This was just all so hard to take in… what does this mean? Can they even do another surgery? I certainly can't live like I have been so what can we do about it? So far, no one had any answers.

It took a long time (yet another lesson in patience) to get me a room but finally they found me a little corner to call my own. And when I say little corner I'm not kidding. This "space" is just barely big enough for my bed. But at the time I just wanted a comfty spot. I spent Friday night in the hospital with no idea what next steps were or what tomorrow would hold but for now I needed sleep. This morning (Saturday) Dr. Kim came in and saw me. He hadn't seen the xray images yet but read the dr's report regarding the obstruction. He really didn't have any answers at this point either. He wanted to go home to review the xrays and have another one done today for his review as well. The one today showed that the barium is still just sitting there not really moving past this blockage. This means I'll be in the hospital for awhile.

Right now they have me on an ice chips only diet. I haven't eaten anything nothing nada since dinner on Thursday (48 hrs). I'm hooked up to fluids which I believe is the only thing keeping me going at all. Dr. Kim is supposed to come see me again tomorrow morning and hopefully he will have a good treatment plan ready. For now, what I do know is that the fluids, pain and nausea IV meds are really helping me out. I'm not getting much sleep because it's a hospital and I have no idea how long I will need to be here. And, all I really want is to feel like a normal person again. Someone that can plan trips and fun things to do… right now, that just isn't an option - I'm taking it 2 hours at a time right now (because that's how often I can have pain meds ). I also know that over the past two days I have become a much more patient person than I was before.

Sending hugs & smiles!