Life's Journey

I'm healing. Each day is a little better than the one before, this is good. My surgery wounds are healing correctly I'm on the path of recovery. And I can honestly still say that today I feel better than I did before the surgery and for that I am grateful. I'm still getting used to the new body and body image that I have now. It's definitely a reminder every time I look in the mirror. I have this lovely "scarlet letter" with me where ever I go, I just hope I have (or can find) the right clothes to help cover up the bags existence. I'm sure I will get that down but for right now, I feel like everyone knows it's there and is staring at my belly (although they clearly are not) I know that no one is staring, it just feels that way.

We met up with some friends for lunch together a few days ago. It was nice to get out of the house and be a person for a few hours. I had a delicious cobb salad. It's been a long time since I've had a salad (they were off limits when I was on chemo because of bacteria all foods had to be cooked) so I jumped at the opportunity -yummy!!!! But, I didn't think through the consequences of that one. While roughage is good for your digestive system, it also causes gas. Sigh But I dealt with that and was still glad I had the salad!

I'm still getting used to what I should/shouldn't eat. My doctor game me no restrictions but I'm quickly finding that some foods cause gas, some digest quickly, while others are slow movers. I haven't gotten my full appetite back yet I instead find that I am eating 4 or 5 small meals or bites throughout the day. So far this seems to be working.

I have also already faced one of the nightmare situations that comes with a colostomy bag. I've been setting my alarm between 2-3am so I can take a pain pill and check the bag. I have learned that my movements happen the most at night while I'm sleeping. Well, this particular morning the bag was pretty empty when I took my middle of the night pill so I went back to sleep. I also have to add that I've been sleeping a little propped up so my torso is at an angle but I am on my back. So woke up around 7 that morning with Roy. Instinctively the first thing I do is feel the bag to see how full it is - this was FULL like holy cow full! I pulled back to covers and lifted my shirt to find there was a total bag blow out! It looks like my pipes finally unclogged but "why like this" I asked myself. I was stuck on my back if I moved this mess was going to get a lot worse. This is one of those perfect example situations where I can honestly say I am married to the best man in the world! He went into problem solving mode and just started helping me. We were able to get things cleaned up and I muddled through replacing all the mechanics that go along with having the bag. Thankfully my home health nurse was scheduled to come that afternoon. I called her and explained my situation and she came early to check on my work. Well, I didn’t do a great job so we had to replace everything again. As we took everything off… guess what happened? Yup, things started moving again. Murphy's Law. And there was nothing I could do about it except laugh at this point. So we did. We laughed and laughed as we cleaned it up - not once but twice before we could get everything all set up again. Phew! What a hot mess! LOL I'm just so glad this was all in the privacy of my own home and that Roy handled it all like a champ. I guess you could say this was our latest adventure. LOL

It's been just under 2 weeks since my surgery. I've been out and about a few times in small spurts. I find I spend most of my time relaxing in big red and watching TV. The Hallmark Channel sucked me into some of their super cheesy christmas movies. And I'm glad we have a good selection of movie channels. But I do fall asleep quite often. Sometimes I feel it coming, sometimes I just crash out. I know the rest is good for me, but sometimes I gut ants in my pants and want to get out and do stuff. But the bursts of energy don't last too long right now so I'm just listening to my body and going with it. Like I said, I'm still learning how to adjust to all this new stuff.

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

Sending hugs & smiles,

Sarah