Life's Journey

Yesterday is a painful blur… the chemo hangover officially started and came at full force. I felt it coming on Saturday evening. I quickly got more tired than usual, nauseous, and super achy. But, in the middle of the night the pain woke me up. Sharp shooting pains through my bones. Damn the Neulasta shots! These shots help keep my white blood cell (wbc) count in normal ranges, but they produce some wicked side effects. The worst of which is bone pain. There’s no way to really describe bone pain, but it’s kinda like ice picks being shoved in my bones. Unfortunately it hits me everywhere, my legs get the worst of it but it shoots through my arms, my skull, my ribs… there’s no silver lining in this one, it’s just pain. So I take it one step at a time while going through the hangover days. Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed just sleeping through it. Unfortunately the vicodin hardly makes a dent in the pain, but it does help knock me out for awhile. I hate wasting a day in bed, but it’s apparently what my body needed yesterday to get through.

Today is a little better. I still have significant pain in my bones that I’m just trying to get through. The nausea is getting better today. But I’m still pretty darn tired. I think the hangover this time around is a lot harder because it’s a bigger dose of chemo than last year. Granted I’m not having radiation every day, but the side effects of the chemo are much more intense.

Roy has been a huge help. I know that there are times that it gets frustrating for him, but he’s been taking good care of me. I’m so lucky to have him by my side through all of this… I know it’s not easy for either of us. I also have a dear friend that came over while I was sleeping through the day yesterday and she planted flowers in all my flowerpots outside. She brought me a little sunshine! Another dear friend has kept me well-fed. I have received nightly texts of what’s on the menu for the evening and later a delivery. I’m finding I’m not eating much, but what I am eating is yummy :).

We are still planning to drive to San Diego for Thanksgiving. I was hoping to leave today, but it looks like that wasn’t meant to be. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I can take the 5 hour car ride. I’m looking forward to spending time with Roy’s family. All the nieces and nephews will be there so I have put together some craft projects for us to do together. I thought it would be fun for them and something I can do while just sitting at a table with them. We will make name place cards for the table, placemats, turkey handprints, fingerprint ornaments… lots to do.  Screw you chemo hangover - you can't hold me back!

Sending hugs & smiles.