Life's Journey

My first day of chemo has come and gone. Yesterday was a long exhausting day… but it’s done. My mom went with me to keep me company and drive me home. We got there at 10:30a and didn’t leave till 4:30. Six hours of drip, drip, drip chemo being fed into my body. It starts with fluids and steroids. Then Benadryl – that one makes me a little loopy. And finally the two bags of chemo drugs, Carboplatin and Taxol. I am wiped out by the end of this. I was grateful to have my mom there with me… we talk and play games on the iPad together. For the record, I can beat her at backgammon even when I’m being drugged

Today I woke with the “Taxol Flush”. This drug makes my face and chest go red and feel like they are on fire. Just looks funny and is a little annoying but really no biggie. Got up, got dressed and ready for today’s appointments. First on the agenda was a PET Scan – we did this as a baseline scan or the “before” picture. Then toward the end of January we will take another scan to compare and determine how the cancer is responding to the drugs. The PET Scan process is also long and I was apparently more tired than I realized because I feel asleep – twice! That was some good napping  Next on the agenda was a Neulasta shot. These are no fun, they burn like hell and sting for awhile… and today I got stabbed in the belly with it! Uck! These are also the shots that leave me with bone pain, which I’m attempting to ignore.

I had to fast this morning for the PET Scan so I was actually quite hungry after all this. Mom was with me again today holding my hand through the day and we went to a great little lunch spot near the oncology office. We had a nice lunch together and then ran a quick errand before heading home for the day. I climbed into bed and crashed out for a couple hours – wiped! I woke to find an invite from a friend (and neighbor) to come over for a latte – this gave me a little pep in my step and inspired this post.

I think most of you have seen that I posted my bucket list. As I was building my list I realized that I have always lived my life doing the things I love and following my dreams. I have had many amazing opportunities to do things that would normally be found on a bucket list. I started my own list of “Amazing Things I’ve Done”! Things like: work with lions and tigers and bears (oh my), find my soul mate, go sky diving, visit Paris, Venice, Switzerland, and Prague, learn to surf, go ziplining, horseback riding on the beach, spend time in the Hawaiian Islands, walk through a rainforest… the list goes on. I have had some amazing experiences in my life. So when I sat down to think about what I still want to do I thought “pie in the sky”.

The top of my list is to go on safari. This is something I have always dreamed of doing for as long as I can remember. The only reason I never made this happen is because of the time and money needed… I wish I hadn’t waited. This is what I learned while building out my list… don’t wait to do the things that make you happy. Don’t put off doing something that you “dream” of doing – just go do it! Live each day and allow yourself to do the things that you want to do. BE HAPPY!

My list goes from the “pie in the sky” Private Yacht Trip with friends in the Caribbean. But let’s talk about that for a minute… really? How amazing would that be? Who wouldn’t want to live like a rock star with your closest friends for a week sailing, partying, and eating great food through the Caribbean? Then I started thinking about things that I’ve said “wouldn’t it be cool to...” go to a taping of the Ellen show or be on a game show. Let’s be honest, these are things that would be SO MUCH fun to do and are achievable if you apply yourself, but do you apply yourself to do it – nope. No more waiting, no more putting it off – let the good times begin! Caution to the wind!

After posting my Bucket List two of my dearest friends took it and did something unbelievable. They created a fundraising site to help me achieve the things on my list (http://www.gofundme.com/1ikg9g). I am overwhelmed and utterly speechless. I never imagined that I would be sitting on this side of something like this… I am so grateful to have so many people out there that have reached out and contributed to the site. I have no words that can express the emotions that have overcome me. I am already starting to plan. I am creating things to look forward to and have found this to be extremely therapeutic! And I have you all to thank for that!

While sitting in chemo yesterday I got a call from someone at the Arizona Cardinals Football League. They explained that they had received a letter from one of you, my angels, expressing my desire to stand on the sidelines during an NFL game and shared a link to my bucket list. He went on to tell me that he is going to make this happen for me. My mom later told me that I told this guy to “Get outta here!” while on the phone with him – I just couldn’t believe it! So, I sent him our info and am waiting to hear back from him with details, but we are going to the sidelines for the Cardinals/Rams game the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Holy cow! I am so excited!

This is one of many stories I can share that have overwhelmed me just over the past few days since the site was created. Angels have offered airline miles and hotel points, places to stay, and more. You can see more on the site if you are interested: http://www.gofundme.com/1ikg9g As I start crossing items off my list I will post pictures here for everyone

Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough. I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I write this as I am truly overwhelmed. You all mean so much to me and I am more than grateful. Through this I have learned that despite all the crappy medical cancer stuff I have to deal with… I am blessed. I have so many people that have reached out to me in ways that I can't even put into words. People have sent prayers and smiles from around the world. Friends and acquaintances have reached out and sent beautiful letters of how I have touched their lives. There is nothing more I can ask for, I am grateful. I can close my eyes and know that I am at peace with the life I have lived.

Sending hugs and smiles!