Life's Journey

This morning I had to say goodbye to my cat Bailey. She has been a part of my life for 21 years and will be missed terribly. Bailey was a tough old girl, but after 21 years it was time to say goodbye. I remember when I first met her. I was in search of a red Siamese cat and a friend that I worked with at the time had Siamese kittens. When I went to her house to see them I was standing talking to my friend when out of nowhere this little brown speckled bolt of lightning came tearing into the room and literally climbed up my jeans to say hello. This was Bailey. She picked me. She was half Siamese and half Tonkinese. She was so cute, dark brown with white speckles all over her – she looked like she was spattered in bleach. She had the big blue Siamese eyes and she was quite the character. I fell in love with her in an instant!

This morning was not only difficult because I had to say goodbye but also because it got me thinking a lot about dying. The reality of what really happens. Obviously there are many opinions and various religious beliefs that all have an impact on what you believe. When you are a child you are taught a certain belief and carry this with you through adulthood. I am admittedly not a religious person. Through the years I educated myself on various religions and also the science of the human body. But, when it comes down to the reality of it all the bottom line is that we don’t really know. That’s what makes it all a little scary – the unknown. The soul and spirit of a living being are not fully understood. While I respect religious beliefs and feel that everyone has a right to their own opinion of what happens, I think many unanswered questions remain. This isn’t something I talk about often because it can be a pretty touchy subject… in fact even as I write this I question if I should post it. But, in the end I know I will because this blog is a splattering of my own thoughts and I try not to hold back here.

What I hope is that it’s peaceful. That the soul and spirit will somehow carry on. And maybe that’s what it’s all about… having an impact on the people in your life so that in some small way each of them will carry a piece of your spirit with them in their own life. I will smile when I think of Bailey and I will carry a piece of her spirit with me. I hope that she is at peace. She will always be loved.

Hugs…
Sarah

Go… go… go… to the doctor, to get a shot, to labs, to the next work meeting, to the grocery, the list goes on. It's so easy for the days to be one big never ending task list. Well, I quit. I refuse to stay in this pattern of go, go, go! Ok, ok, what I quickly learned was that this is just life - there are things you gotta do. There are things that need to be done. But, I needed a break… and thanks to a few angels out there - I got a perfect break.

Roy and I spent last weekend in Tahoe. Neither of us had been there before and everyone that's been there goes on and on about how beautiful it is so we were really looking forward to it. My angels took care of our flights and hotel stay. We flew into Reno and had lunch with a dear friend (aka angel) before we drove to the lake. The drive was so pretty, we took a route up and over a mountain, through Incline Village and down to the lake. We decided to check in and get settled at our resort. I can't imagine a more perfect spot. We stayed at Mourelatos Resort which is literally right on the lake on the north shore. It's a small family owned resort and they (through my angels) gifted us our stay for the weekend. They gave us one of their suites that was right on the end of the building, we had our own wrap around porch that was on the beach. The lake is breathtaking. It's surrounded by beautiful snow capped mountains. We unpacked and took some time to just sit in the lounge chairs on our patio and take it all in.

Now, for those of you that know Roy and I well I know your questioning how we "just sat" - go, go, go is out usual travel schedule. And with my color coded itineraries we have every second booked. Well, this trip had no itinerary, no plans, no "go"! We came here to relax. The room had a little kitchenette so we decided to explore the area a little and find a store to stock up. I'm not sure why we felt the need to stock the place, we were only there for two nights but apparently we were hungry when we had the idea. LOL We ended up leaving quite a bit of untouched food behind.

We were told to check out the Ritz, it's a ski in/out resort not too far from the resort. The Ritz always has delicious restaurants so we thought we'd head that way for dinner. The hotel was beautiful, a huge stone fireplace, wood beam ceilings, snow everywhere. But, we thought it would be on the side of the mountain with a view of the lake, but from here you couldn't see the lake. We headed to the bar for a drink and to talk to the bartenders about the area. They were very helpful. We asked for a suggestion for dinner on the lake and ended up at Lone Eagle Grill. It's right on the lake, beautiful views, friendly staff, and yummy food! I would highly recommend this spot if you ever go to the area. We had a great night together - relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

The next morning we were up early to watch the sunrise - amazing! Once the sun was up went to a great local spot called the Log Cabin for breakfast - YUM is the best description. After breakfast I called my dad. He and his wife, Marjorie, live in San Francisco which is a quick drive away so when I told him we were headed out he jumped at the chance to come spend some time with us. There were on the road and arrive a short time later. It was great to see them and get a chance to spend some time together - last time I saw them was New Years in Vegas. We all loaded into the car and took a drive around the lake. This is a fairly short trip, a couple of hours, but the changes in scenery along the way were amazing! We started at the North Shore and traveled East all the way around. You start in a small town area which leads to a trail of million dollar homes, then you travel around a bend and like magic you are transported to pine trees, snow, and beautiful views of the lake. We stopped many times along our route to take some pictures - I'll add some to the photos section of the site soon. The South Shore is totally different from the North - there were ski lodges, lifts, shopping, shopping, shopping, and casinos. Way more touristy and less relaxing than the North Shore. But, it was cool to drive through and see it all. The West side of the lake is by far more scenic. The road is a sheer drop off on the lake side and mountain on the other. We took a detour to Squaw Village. My angels had given us tickets on the tram to go to the top of the mountain. They held the Olympics here in 1960 so there was a ton of Olympic memoribelia around the area. It was cold but not crazy cold, a jacket and a scarf did the trick. We enjoyed lunch here before heading back down. We were all pretty tired by then so we took time to rest (aka nap). We met up later for drinks and dinner - another great spot right on the lake called Garwoods - it's huge and apparently always full. Dinner was good and the company was even better! This was our last night at the lake - it had gotten a little colder and windy so no sitting on the patio tonight.

We all headed to the Log Cabin for another delicious breakfast before Dad hit the road. We went back to the resort to enjoy the scene a little longer before we headed back to Reno. I must admit that I was so relaxed at this point, I for sure was not ready to leave. But, leave we must. We got to Reno faster than expected and had an hour to waste before going to the airport so we went to downtown Reno. "The biggest little city in the world" is an interesting description at best. It's like a mini, old Vegas with casinos, bars, and toursity shops. We got a little swag, walked around, and then off to the airport to go back to the real world.

We didn't have a color coded itinerary but found it was easy to fill our days at the lake. I can't thank the angels enough for setting this all up for us. The resort was picture perfect and the staff was so nice. Roy and I were in need of time to relax and get away from the daily grind.

Sending hugs and smiles.

That's right… pink eye… again! This is the third time in the past four months that I've dealt with this one. And, yup, you guessed it… both eyes. This time around it prevented me from getting chemo. I went in thinking I would be ok only to be sent home. I'm too contagious and can't be around the others also in chemo. I should've known better and not even gone in - and probably in the back of my head I did know better but I also know that I missed treatment last week and just wanted to get in. While getting a break from chemo is a blessing it also feels like a curse. I don't want the chance for the cancer to get an edge up, an advantage, a lead in this race. My doctors aren't too worried because my scans came back good and feel we are in an ok place - but this is two weeks without treatment. I must admit that it is good to feel more like a person than a patient this week… but, let's talk pink eye for a minute…

Ok, if you've never had it trust me you never want it. If you have kids and they get it avoid it like the plague. No joke, I want to scratch my eyeballs out! It's like the unreachable itch, the scratch you can't scratch, the "forbidden". I think the hardest part is that I can in fact reach it but I'm not allowed to touch it. Rubbing, scratching, poking, picking, or any form of touching of the eyes is bad. OMG it's torture. It's like I have this awful tick all of the sudden where I catch myself reaching up to scratch my eyes and forcibly stop… myself. I probably look like I’m possessed….

Speaking of looking possessed… no make-up! And by the way I had to throw out the make-up I had been using that touched my eyes and clean all my make-up brushes. For the guys out there I'll fill ya in: this is a very expensive venture, make-up isn't cheap!  Not only can I not wear make-up but my eyes are swollen, red, and generally crusty. Uck, it's gross just to admit that I have crusty eyes, let alone deal with the crusties. Ew! I for sure am looking possessed lately. I told Roy to watch out for my head spinning around and green foam spewing out of my mouth - lol. The best was the first day, it started in my left eye and not in my right, it looked like someone punched me in the eye. The next morning I woke up and couldn't even open my right eye… but at least they were even

Pink eye is treated with antibiotic drops. That’s it, just drops every four hours. I use hot water washcloths in the morning too, it helps with the swelling and the crusties. Generally people will kick it in a few days and keep taking drops for a total of 5-7 days. This time around it's taking me awhile longer, I'm on day 4 and still waking up with the crusties. Fingers crossed that I kick it soon…. Cuz the itchy is driving me out of my mind!

I went to the eye doctor to ensure that it's just pink eye and nothing more. He confirmed. I asked why I keep getting this, I mean I know that I am more prone to these things because of my immune system but three times in four months is just too much. His answer: "you have no eyelashes". The light bulb went off in my head. Der. I have no eyelashes so stuff just flies into my eyes. You have no idea how much work your eyelashes do until you don't have them anymore.    I've noticed that it feel like I have something in my eye quite often anymore. So naturally when that happens you pick, rub, scratch whatever until you get it out. That's all it takes. A quick finger in the eye with a little bacteria on it and - BOOM - pink eye!

If it's not one thing it's another… I'm honestly not complaining, I'm laughing. I mean this is pretty small fry compared to what I could be dealing with considering… this is easy, but frustrating.

Hugs & Smiles & itchy eyes,
Sarah

This has been a long week… wait! What? It's only Wednesday!?!?! Phew, I'm exhausted already. Turns out there's a reason for that…

I wasn’t able to get chemo this week because of my lab results. The first step on chemo days is blood work to make sure everything is ok for treatment. I went in Tuesday prepared for chemo with friend in tow but, the lab results were not good enough. Turns out skipping a week of Neupogen (aka bone pain shots) causes my immune system to drop. My levels were lower than ever. I was sent straight in for a shot and told to go home to "the bubble". I will get the shots four days this week - lucky me I earned an extra shot. Sigh. Four shots = lots of pain. I'm taking things to try to help it and I'm armed with pain meds but usually I just have to deal with it.

Living in "the bubble" is boring. Ok, ok, it's not really a bubble, it's just me sitting in the house by myself. Because my immune system sucks it would be super easy for me to pick up a little virus that quickly turns to something nasty. "The bubble" keeps me away from all that… because I never leave the house (except to get my shots of course). No grocery, no restaurants, no malls, no movies, no gas stations… just the house. Just me and my germ-free bubble.

Zzzz… oh sorry I think I fell asleep there for a second  I'm so tired... The lab results also showed that my red blood cell counts are going back down. We would be talking blood transfusion again but we can't until we build back up my immune system.  These low levels make me tired, really tired. Zzzz…

My goal is to make the best of it this week. I can focus on work and get a lot done. I am doing some spring cleaning - pulling everything out of closets and drawers and getting rid of the crap. It's amazing how much crap you collect over time. I'm also pulling out my art supplies… it's time to paint again. So… up yours cancer! I'm going to find the silver lining and make the best of whatever you send my way. I'm not wasting my time moping and complaining… I'd rather laugh and smile and keep trying to kick your ass! But… um… first I'm going to take a nap

Sending hugs & smiles,
Sarah

I’m excited to finally get to share a bit of good news with everyone! I had my comparison PET scan last week. The purpose of this one was to compare to the scan before we started treatment and see what’s happening. In other words, this would tell us if the chemo treatment is working or not. I have come to accept that these tests and waiting for results are all now a staple in my life. This doesn’t make them any easier. I’ve been stressed out, down, and frankly worried about these results. As I’ve mentioned my cancer likes to do exactly the opposite of what it should – I am the bottom 3%. So I (and I think my doctors as well) have been prepared for the worst. For once I got good news – the scans show that the chemo is doing it’s job and my cancer is responding! Let’s take just a minute to celebrate that before I go on Woot woot! What!?!?! Virtual high fives and hugs to everyone!! Cheers! Yay! There’s dancing in the streets and music in our heads right now!

Ok, back to reality:: what does this really mean? This means that the chemo has shrunk some of the existing cancer and is holding it there. It also means it has kept it from spreading elsewhere. In my situation this is the best we could hope for! We know we are not going to cure my cancer, it will always be there so our hope is to just keep it subsided as long as we can so I can go out and enjoy life and continue crossing off that bucket list! The catch-22 right now is that while it’s working it’s taking a big toll on my body. I had treatment last week and my lab work looked really bad. My immune system was once again battered and I needed the neupogen shots to boost it = three days of bone pain. And my red blood cell and hemoglobin levels were encroaching the danger zone and they recommended a blood transfusion. I chose to hold off until this week’s lab work and see where we were. This week I had a small chemo on Tuesday. My blood results were much better so phew no blood transfusion right now. But, what all this means is that my body is having a hard time keeping up with all the damage the chemo is doing. I’m tired – really tired – almost all the time anymore. I’m also starting to get neuropathy in my toes – they are tingly and kinda numb. I’m living with a never ending headache. But, I’m a fighter and I can deal with these things. The question is how long will my body allow me to? So, my team of amazing doctors are reviewing everything and consulting to determine next steps. Can we change chemo protocol a little? Give me a break between treatments? Change chemo agents? Do I qualify for a clinical trial? Is this the opportunity to leap into that? So many questions without a lot of answers right now. For now, I am living in the moment knowing that I’m doing all I can to fight and for now… it’s working!

I know that much of my strength comes from all of you. I can say “I can deal with these things” because I have such an amazing support group with me cheering me on. I never have to go to chemo alone. There always seems to be a friend that reaches out and wants to help me through chemo days – this week it was a friend from Chicago. I am still working full time thanks to the phenomenal support I have received from my team and my peers. I have amazing angels out there that have helped me cross items off my bucket list. Friends are sending me smiles and hugs in all different forms. If you are reading this, in some way you have supported me and I’m more appreciative that I can express.

Sending hugs & smiles,
Sarah

Roy and I escaped to Vail for a few days thanks to a couple of amazing angels out there. I received a certificate for two nights at Vail Cascade Resort and it was amazing. I’ve never been to a ski resort before and it was everything I imagined. The big stone fireplace in the lobby, snow covered mountains, pine trees dusted in snow, and hot cocoa served all day!

We flew into Denver, rented a car and Roy drove the treacherous two hours to Vail. It was snowing and there were moments of minimal visibility but we made it safe and sound. The drive was beautiful from the passenger’s seat. We stopped at Vail Village on the way to our resort to check it out. Again, everything I imagined it to be. The buildings looked like we were in Sweden and were lined with shops and cafes. There were twinkle lights in the pine trees and lining the streets. Every road led to the lifts at the base of the mountain. We found a great little restaurant for lunch and local beer before checking in to our hotel.

The resort was perfect, everyone was very friendly, the room was beautiful, and the view was breath taking. We decided to take it easy and wander the resort grounds. The next day we were up the mountain! I was not allowed to ski which was for the best, the altitude was rough on me and it seemed like no matter where we were walking we were always going uphill. But, Roy was definitely going to hit the slopes. We got all his gear and headed up the gondola from Lionshead to Eagles Nest at the top. I was able to check another item off my list! I threw a snowball at Roy! Fun for me, probably not as much fun for him!

I was able to walk around and get a lot of good photos while Roy was off on his skis. Then we met up for lunch at Eagles Nest. We decided to go into Vail Village to take the gondola up that mountain as well. It was snowing throughout the day so there wasn’t a lot of visibility and it was damn cold So, we in true form hung out at the bar. The view was amazing.

We spent some time shopping in the villages and just kicking back and enjoying the moment. Our last day was sunny and blue skies so we decided to take one last trip up the mountain. It was a great escape from reality for a few days. Thank you to the angels that made this possible for me. This is a trip neither of us will ever forget!

Sending hugs & smiles,

Sarah

I was talking to a friend today who said “looks like you are feeling pretty good, I’ve been reading your blog”… I realized that I’ve been living in my little world of denial and only posting about the good fun stuff. I decided it’s time to get real again.

Yes, I’ve had a great time checking things off my bucket list and am so grateful to find the energy and the spirit to do these things… the reality is that I am really sick. I recently posted about my amazing trip to LA but what I didn’t write about was the bad lab results I got before the trip. I was supposed to have a big chemo treatment the Monday before I left for LA (1/28). I say “supposed to” because it didn’t happen. I was denied chemo because my WBC levels were too low. My immune system crashed once again. While there was a small piece of me that was glad I could go on this trip without the big chemo hangover there was a much bigger reality that this wasn’t good news. I had to miss another chemo, I had to give the damn cancer cells another week to reproduce, I had to deal with a crappy immune system. I also had to get 3 days of Neupogen shots before I left. The day of my flight I went to the doctors office first thing in the morning for my shot and then straight to the airport. I wasn’t going to let this ruin my trip which is when I think I decided to turn to denial. Pretend it wasn’t happening just for a little while. Go have fun with my friends and just enjoy living in the moment for a few days. The problem with denial is that it’s so hard to face reality again... but eventually you have to. This week reality totally smacked me in the face.

I went in for chemo the day after I got back from LA. Fingers and toes crossed that my levels went up and I was able to get treatment. Labs are the first thing we do, results showed good news/bad news. Good news: My labs the week before showed that my red blood cell count (RBC) and hemoglobin levels were really low and if they dropped any further we were going to have to talk about a blood transfusion – this week they went up – phew! No need to talk about that one anymore! Bad news: Turns out my immune system levels did not go up, in fact they had dropped a little more – the Neupogen shots didn’t boost them enough. My first question was if I did this to myself? Did my weekend of denial and pretending I wasn’t sick lead to lower levels? The answer is “no”. Unfortunately (and fortunately) there is nothing I can or can’t do to change these levels. This is going to happen no matter what I do. The decision was made to go ahead and give me treatment anyway. We can’t risk going another 2 week span without treatment. So I had my big chemo treatment on Monday 2/4. Michele (aka supernurse) warned me that I would crash this week and to be sure to rest.

She wasn’t kidding! “Crash” was an understatement. By Wednesday I was feeling pretty drained and quite a bit of nausea was breaking through my medication. Thursday I was a train wreck, I pretty much stayed under the covers all day and slept through as much of it as I could. Moving was a big effort. I can say I had no energy but that doesn’t even begin to describe it – it’s like every cell in my body went on strike and decided not to perform that day. I didn’t want to eat, watch tv, work, write, paint, nothing was appealing. So I did as little as possible to get through the day. Friday was better, I was starting to feel human again. And today is Saturday – Roy and I slept in and then went to our favorite breakfast spot together. It was nice to have a little normalcy in the day, but if I’m “getting real” I have to admit that I am still zapped.

Sleeping in has been a new trend this week, and I am not a fan. I am an early bird, I have learned to really love my mornings. Roy gets up early and is usually out the door to work between 7-7:30. So I get up early with him and would go down to the kitchen and make fresh squeezed juice and coffee. We had a chance to chat a little about our days before heading off to work. I always sent him off with a hug, a kiss, and an “I love you, have a great day”. Then I had a little time most mornings to watch the Today Show and enjoy my coffee before heading off to work myself. This was our routine, this is what we do. But this week I haven’t had the energy to get out of bed in the morning. I missed our routine. And the reality that this was going to happen and that things that I love to do are being stripped from me is a really hard one to accept. I know this seems like such a little thing, but it’s a tough one.

I’m facing a lot of these realities which made denial such an easy place to slip in to. I see families together with their kids and grandkids and tears well up in my eyes. I see older married couples holding hands or eating in a restaurant together and I have to hold back the tears. The reality that I don’t get to have these things is heart wrenching sometimes. And when I don’t even have the energy to get out of bed or up the stairs makes these things sting more than usual. It makes it seem more real than I want it to be. I find myself staring at Roy more than usual and I catch myself thinking how much I’m going to miss him. At least that’s what it feels like in the moment. I’m so lucky to have found such an amazing man to stand by me and hold my hand through all of this… but I hurt for him sometimes and I worry about him often.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this post. Stepping out of denial and getting real isn’t easy. But, sometimes I have to have these reality checks with myself. I’ve been sharing a lot of great fun times with everyone and I’m so glad my life is full of so many smiles and hugs. But, I thought it was time that I get real with all of you and share the behind closed doors moments as well. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, but those are the moments I live for!

Sending Hugs & Smiles,
Sarah

I can’t believe how long it’s been since my last post… my how time flies when you are having fun! And fun doesn’t even begin to describe the adventure around the Ellen Show. When I put this on my bucket list I never imagined it would become so much more than just going to the show. Two of my dearest friends pulled together one of the best girl’s trips I’ve ever had!

We all flew into LA on Wednesday, January 30th. They had a much longer flight than I did, but we hadn’t seen each other in a long time so I think we all energized a little when we saw each other. We headed to the hotel to freshen up and drop our bags before hitting the town! Our hotel was a small boutique in West Hollywood called The Chamberlain – I highly recommend it. The rooms are big, we had a little balcony and the staff was super nice. Our first stop in LA was Villa Blanca for lunch and pink wine. Such a great start to the trip. For those of you that don’t know, this restaurant and Sur restaurant are both owned by the Vanderpumps (Lisa and Ken). They started their cult following on Beverly Hills Housewives and have since started a reality show around Sur. That said, we were on “the hunt” for the Vanderpumps. We had a great lunch and lots of yummy pink wine. As we were leaving we saw him, Ken was in the house. LOL Of course we stalked our prey from outside the building and pounced as soon as he came out. He was very nice and took a photo with us. Our first “star” sighting. We left Villa Blanca and headed to the Sky Bar for more wine – it’s not a girl’s trip without wine! It was a beautiful day and the view of the city was amazing. It was good catch up time! Then we headed back to the hotel to change for dinner. We went to a super hot-spot called “The Bazaar” for dinner. Um, not so hot. Granted we had a lot of wine throughout the day and maybe needed more than the tapas menu they offered. The atmosphere was really cool but they were crowded, the service was slow, and the food – eh… not worth the price.

The next day was ELLEN! My mom flew in to join us for the day. We met her at Warner Brothers Studios. Thanks to one of my angels out there we all got to go on a WB VIP Tour. It was a fun day. We saw a costume museum, show sets, and even got to sit on the couch at Central Perk from the Friends set. After the tour we wandered over to Don Cuco’s for lunch. Yummy! A couple margaritas later, we decided to walk over to the Ellen Show check-in. We were an hour and a half early for the 2 hour pre-show arrival time and there was a good size crowd already there. We checked in, got our number and sat on a bench to wait. It was a fun crowd, we made a few new friends. The time went by pretty quick just with all the chatter and excitement of the show. We were finally taken across the street, through security, and into the “riff-raff room”. This is the holding area with a huge Ellen Gift Shop (brilliant planning and marketing on their part btw). We all did a little shopping and then met the new friend that works at the show and got our tickets. Such a nice guy and I was so grateful that he was able to do this for me. He even offered to meet us after the show and take us backstage (little did I know that my mom had some magic up her sleeve as well to ensure that this would happen). Then we were led into the seats and told where to sit. The guests were Keifer Sutherland, Sophia Grace and Rosie, and the two Australian guys who won a trip from a contest. Honestly, not a super exciting show, but the energy in the room and just the fun of being there was awesome. We laughed, we danced, and we applauded. After the show we met up with the friends that work on the show and they took us backstage. We saw the inner workings of the show… pretty cool. I even batted my eyelashes a little and was able to sit in Ellen’s chair with my friends as the guests and my mom by my side. It was pretty darn cool. This was a fun one to check off the list! Thank you to everyone that had a part in making that happen for me!

After our day we decided to go to another celebrity hot-spot Cessino’s for dinner and had a great Italian meal. It was a long day and I was exhausted. Friday morning we had breakfast at the hotel before mom left for her flight home. I’m glad she came out for the day with us. My friends referred to Friday as a “free day” LOL just because I had a color-coded itinerary doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a “free day”…. Ok, yeah, let’s be honest, that’s exactly what that means. LOL It was a fun day. We had lunch at The Ivy and ran into Lisa Vanderpump and Lance Bass. Our second day of celebrity spotting, we were doing well. We walked along Robertson Blvd and found a great little make-up shop, we had our make-up all done up - I was given eyebrows and eyelashes again for a night. Later, we met up with a group of dear friends at Sur Lounge. So fun! We met the entire crew right out of the reality show. I mean kinda crazy how we all turned into star struck 14 year olds over a wait staff at a lounge but… yup, it happened… and it was fun!

Saturday we decided to take it easy and take a bus tour of Hollywood. We picked the TMZ tour – I don’t recommend this one. It was loud and pretty obnoxious. We met another one of my bestest friends for dinner and a relaxing night catching up. I was pretty tired at this point, I think we all were, I’m not sure where I found the energy to get through the weekend, but I’m glad I had it! Sunday we all headed to the airport back to our families at home. Saying good-bye is exceptionally hard for me anymore. This trip had a few of them scattered throughout, none of which were easy. This was a great trip and I can’t thank my friends enough for everything they did for me.

Sending hugs & smiles
Sarah

Today was a great day! One of the items on my list is to “Catch a fish (then let it go)”… this is one of those things that I honestly have never done before but I feel like everyone should at some point? A couple of my dear friends decided to arrange a guided fishing boat excursion for me. We’ve had this in the works for a couple of weeks now and I’ve really been looking forward to it!

Roy and I had to wake up just after 5:00am to get to our friends house. The boat was leaving at 8:00am and we had to be at the dock 30 minutes before. This doesn’t sound bad at all except that there has been a “cold spell” that came through the desert this week. For those of you that don’t live in Arizona let me tell you that when it gets cold in the desert it gets damn cold! The highs this week have been in the 40’s (ok, those of you in the mid-west are mocking me right now – but shut up, it’s cold!) LOL. Yesterday was the start of the warm-up and we knew that today was supposed to top out in the lower 70’s (phew). But as I was getting ready for bed at 9:00pm last night I realized that I had no idea what to wear fishing on a day like this. So, I texted my friend that was going with us. Her advice was wise, she said “wear comfty layers”. We texted back and forth about this and then I set off into my closet to find my layers. I heard my phone ding and she texted again saying “I’ll bring a bucket for pee”. Yup, I hope you are laughing as hard as I was…. You lost me at “bucket”. LOL Now I’m not sure of what I’ve gotten myself into. I mean, I know we are going fishing and all but…. A bucket?!? Well, I’m a trooper and by no means am I shy so I figured, whatever, it’s going to be a fun day!

When the alarm went off at 5:00am – I snoozed it. When the alarm went off at 5:30am – I shut it off. When Roy pestered me at 5:45am because I wasn’t up yet – I pulled the blankets over my head!  I crawled out of bed just in time to pull on my layers and get in the car. I must admit that I was having quite a bit of bone pain from the Neupogen shots so I was in slow motion. Roy had already loaded the cooler and snacks and we were ready to hit the road. One stop by Dunkin Donuts on the way! We arrived at our friends house on time and headed to the lake shortly after.

The day was spent at Lake Pleasant which is about 40 min north of Phoenix. I’ve passed this exit on the freeway many times but had never been there before today. The lake was much larger than I expected, surrounded by mountains and desert – it was beautiful. But, holy cow it was cold and windy when we set off to find our first fishing spot. I had on 4 layers, a scarf, gloves, my super warm hat and it was just barely enough. The four of us were as bundled up as you get sitting in a line at the back of the boat trying to stay warm. The boat by the way was really nice. I quickly learned that fishing boats are made for fishing – period. There are no bells and whistles, no cup holders or cushy seats, no fancy speakers and certainly no built in bathrooms (the bucket text was lingering in the back of my head at this point). We asked about this situation and they told us there were floating bathrooms on the lake we could use if needed. Check – no bucket necessary (phew).

Our guide’s name was Mike McFarland, he was great. He is a professional competitive fisherman and he definitely knew his stuff! He taught us the basics of bass fishing and how the sonar computers work to find good spots. We were all naturals right off the bat (wink wink). We cast and then cast again then we cast some more… no bites at the first stop.

As the sun came out and the wind died down it turned out to be a really nice day on the lake. We found our second fishing stop in a channel between two cliff areas. We used real bait here and weights to drop the 45 feet to the bottom where all the bass were hanging out (I knew this because I now know how to read the sonar screen – yup I’m officially a fishergirl). I think the “cold spell” caused a “dry spell” for fishing. Nothing was biting here either. But we had a few beers, kicked back and enjoyed a beautiful day on the lake with good friends.

Four hours later we came back to shore empty handed. No fish, no bites. But, we had a great time trying! I can’t officially check this one off my bucket list yet – we are planning to go back in April and try again when the fish thaw out!

If you have never been fishing before I highly reccommend it - great day!

Sending hugs and smiles,

Sarah

Last night I brought my other dad Dean with me to a Glassblowing Class. Holy cow, this was a cool experience. I've always loved art and worked in various mediums. I admire glass art but never thought about trying to make it myself. Then Roy and I went to Italy with some friends and we took a boat over to Murano. This was so beautiful, I recommend this side trip to anyone that visits Venice. We took a tour of the Murano Glass Studio. They took us to the work room where they are creating new pieces. There was an older man creating something beautiful while we were there so we got to see the process. He was very nice and explained a lot of what he was doing. At that moment I was hooked and knew it was something I wanted to try…. Someday.

Well, yesterday turned out to be "someday". As I mentioned in a previous post this was a gift from an angel and I am so grateful. I hope this is something you try someday as well. When I looked up directions for the Circle 6 Studios where we had the class I found that it was in a very strange area of town. It was a neighborhood of old houses, and not one of the greatest in the city. So I checked out the satellite view on Google maps and realized they built a big shed studio in the back. Still a little sketchy but I was going with Dean so I wasn't too worried. When we found the place it is was actually really cool, it was as appeared on Google maps, a big shed built as a studio in a crummy area of old houses. But, it was really well done inside the studio and John and Justin that taught the class were super nice. 

This class is a "Seasonal Intro Class" which means you make different things at different times of the year. This month we made glass hearts with Valentines just around the corner. In December they made Christmas Ornaments, in October they made Glass Pumpkins, in spring they make flowers and summer is sun catchers. I was excited that we got to make hearts. The slightly disappointing thing is that this project didn't require the actual blowing of the glass, it was more a coloring and molding project. In the end I felt like this was actually cooler than blowing into it.

Here's a quickie rundown of how these things are created:

1. You use a puttee stick to get the liquid glass from the 2100 degree kiln - it comes out as a wad of heavy liquid on the end of the stick.
2. You have to remember to constantly turn the stick or the glass will just clump and fall right off and boom you're done.
3. Next step is to add the color - the color options were laid out in various trays, there was red, purple, blue teal, yellow, orange, white and what he called "confetti" which was basically a mix of left overs of various colors.. These were basically crushed up glass pieces in these various colors. He said you can pick one color and blend with white if you'd like. So I said I wanted to use red and the confetti. So to add the color we take the hot glass wad we just gathered from the kiln and press it into the glass color until it's pretty well covered. Then stick it in the 1800 degree oven. This melts the crunched colored pieces into the clear glass wad. Once melty it gets taken out and mashed into the other color and back in the over for a couple min.
4. Then we swirl the color. You sit on a bench and prop the stick on ledges across your lap. You use big elephant size tweezers and pick, twist, and pull on the glass wad. (btw, yup, I'm pretty sure that the technical name of this was "glass wad" - lol)
5. The glass wad needs to be bigger to fill the heart mold so then we go back to the kiln and add a layer of clear glass on top. This also makes it so the color glass is wrapped in a clear glass frame of sorts.
6. Now it has to be shaped so the glass wad is moved into the heart mold and cut off the stick. Then pressed to flatten.
7. Finally the now swirly colored heart shaped glass is taken to a cooling oven - this takes 12-16 hours then it's solid and ready to take home.

When the heart was formed the glass was so hot it looked orange so you couldn't really tell how the colors were going to come out. Today I had a small chemo treatment, after treatment mom and I went to lunch at a really fun old fashioned ice cream counter diner then went and picked up our creations at their gallery. The gallery had some really cool stuff including our hearts! They look really really good. I'm quite proud of my glass heart

This was a great experience, a lot of fun, and I’m so glad I could share it with Dean. If you have even a slight interest it's totally worth it if you get a chance to try it. Thank you again to the angel that made this happen - big virtual hugs comin atcha! I've included a the photo above but there are more in the photo gallery page.

Sending hugs and smiles,
Sarah