Life's Journey

I was able to have chemo again this week... um, yay? Ugh... sigh.  When they ran my labs on Monday we found that my WBC and ANC numbers were better but still not in the normal safe zone.  They were high enough that they were able to go ahead and move forward with chemo for the week.  I still have to be careful of germs but I am able to get out a little more now.  In an effort to raise my WBC count I am now receiving Neupogen shots for three days following chemo.  I had my first one yesterday, not too bad.  But, I must admit that today is definitely not a good day.  Not only am I facing the chemo hangover but the Neupogen has added it's own fair share of side effects.  I am pretty sure my head is in a vice, my stomach is back on that rollercoaster, and my bones are being stabbed with icepicks.  Oh yea, fun day!  But, this too shall pass...  tomorrow will be a better day.

Today I decided to take control of one of the things that I can - well sort of.    The past two days I have found that my hair is falling out by the handful... yup, it's time!  Today I am going to my hair guy and shaving it off.  Whoa!  That's a big step.  Again, I stand strong in my belief that it's just hair and it will grow back - no biggie.  But, I must admit that running my hand through my hair and having a handful to throw away is kind of jolting.  So, this step of shaving it off is going to give me a little control over it.  I'm armed and ready, I have wigs for days out, I have scarves and hats for around the house and errands.  Bring it on!  Summer is coming and I think it may feel awesome to have a cool head.  

On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to this weekend. Roy's mom and Grandma are driving in from California on Saturday and staying through Tuesday.  We are planning a mother's day brunch with the four of us and my mom Sunday morning, then they will keep me company for chemo next monday before heading out on Tuesday.  It will be great to see them and have their company for the weekend. 

I'm still facing things one day at a time.  Resting when I need to and figuring out how to best manage these side effects.  But, I'm halfway through it!  This is week 4 of 8!  I will keep fighting and smiling along the way.  Again, I couldn't do it without all of you and your positive thoughts.  Lots of love and hugs to all! xoxo

"Don't just count your years,
make your years count."
-Ernest Meyers

Today is my birthday and I recieved an email that really hit home and it's a message that I wanted to share with all of you:
         
What matters most in life is often viewed as peripheral to the things that we usually focus on. Passion takes a backseat to production, wellness to working, and balance to busyness. The old adage that "life is not a dress rehearsal" is so true, and yet we act to the contrary by putting off what is truly important or indulging in things that are not. On your birthday, stop focusing on your age and start meditating on your life at this exact moment. How can you make it better? During the next year, reshuffle your priorities. Spend more time with family and friends, take care of your body and health by eating well and exercising regularly, and offer to help others in need. Discover what matters most to you, and make your daily life into a true reflection of those ideas, beliefs, and attitudes.
          
Ok, now that you've read it... read it again.  I couldn't have said it better myself. I've been reminded of how precious and valuable every day, every moment really is, this - right now - is a gift, don't take it for granted. Don't waste time with anger, hate, and negativity. Find your passion, do something you love every day, smile more, and make someone else smile each day.  Live your life to the fullest!

Every year I take full advantage of this day - I mean it is MY day after all.  And you only get one! This is the first year in my entire 36 years of life that I haven't been excited about my Big Big Day!  (that's what I affectionately named birthdays)  I was attempting to make the most of it by planning some fun celebrations and then I was put in the "bubble of solitude" and plans had to be cancelled.  That's when I officially threw in the towel this year.  There has been no talk of this day, no annual hype leading up to it, no excitement... just another day. I was actually kind of bummed... not because I'm a year older (that's never bothered me) but because I felt that it had been taken away from me this year.  But, this morning the most wonderful husband in the world surprised me with a beautiful gift, a birthday smile, and a lot of love... he made me one of my favorite breakfast meals before heading off to work. Since then my email and facebook page have been flooded with birthday wishes...  and it made me realize...  it is still MY day - my big, big day!  So SUCK IT CANCER! you can't take that away from me!  I'm here for my birthday this year and I'm going to enjoy it!  

So as I'm sure you can imagine the "bubble of solitude" has been quite lonely. Just me, Ben, and kitty all day. I've been finding ways to entertain myself but I'm too social to be "stuck" here without interaction - Ben and Kitty are not very talkative (but don't think I haven't tried) -  it's been a long week.  On the other hand, my stomach is settling.  It has gotten off the beast of a rollercoaster and downgraded to the kiddie coaster.  I was finally given the sancuso patch (ahhh) for nausea - what a godsend that is! Apparently the insurance company (aka "those bastards") make the doctors try the less effective drugs first (compazine, benedryl, and phenerol) before they can go to the sancuso patch (ahhhh - did you hear that? the angels sing everytime you say it). Ok, I totally get that in most cases, but when your dealing with chemoradiation lets be real - there's going to be severe nausea - give the patient the patch (ahhhh). Anyway, I have it now and am grateful. The catch to the low blood count is that I am exhausted - ok that's an understatement, is there another word that better describes a complete and utter lack of energy? I made banana nut muffins (from a box - I mean how hard is that) yesterday and I had to take a nap afterwards. So tired! Apparently my body just needed a shut down week. I'm allowing myself to rest.

My bloodwork was rechecked yesterday.  My numbers are up a little but still not in the safe zone. Sigh and apply more hand sanitizer. We are hopeful that they will be high enough by Monday to continue with chemo. I'm wondering if I am going to be starting over with the side effects as well since I took a week off?  It will be an interesting experiment of sorts. But, at least I've had the experience already and kind of know what to expect and how to manage it. (silver lining?) Today is the end of week 3 - woo hoo! - only 5 weeks to go.  Hopefully there won't be any more delays.
         

Love you all and thank you for all the birthday wishes!
xoxo - Sarah

Yesterday was a nice Easter with Roy and my parents.  I was feeling "human" and "sane" and could eat a little more - Sunday's are good days!  We had a honey baked ham thanks to a family friend and all the fixin's.  We sat outside, enjoyed the beautiful weather, played games and had a nice evening.

This morning I woke up early (bregudgedly), got ready, sent Roy off to work, packed my bag of chemo day supplies (prayer shawl, notebook, iPad, snacks, funky socks (for flair) and misc necessities) and headed off to a long day of chemo with mom.  We arrived right on time and were shortly taken back for vitals and labwork.  Mom and I were settling in, pulling things out of our bags, moving chairs, etc.  while waiting for the lab results.  About 15 minutes went by before the chemo nurse explained that she is unable to give me chemo today due to the lab results.  I am neutropenic and cannot handle the chemo drugs today.  This means that my White Blood Cell (WBC) count and Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) are too low and I am at high risk for an infection.  The normal range for WBC is 4.0 - 10.5 and mine is 1.4.  The normal range for ANC is 2.2 - 4.8 and mine is 0.8.  She said that because they can't give the chemo treatment today they will instead add a treatment to the tail end (sigh) of the entire treatment cycle.  She didn't feel they needed to treat me with drugs in any way, instead I should be extra cautious and wait it out til next week.  By "extra cautious" I mean that I should be around as few people as possible, no crowds, wash my hands often, avoid raw foods - all in an effort to avoid an infection.  She answered all our random questions and sent us on our way.  We went down to radiology to see if they could squeeze me in early rather than going home and having to turn around and come back in a few hours for treatment.  They got us in after a 30 minute wait.  I talked to the Physicians Asst. and she confirmed the lab results explaining that they can continue with the radiology treatment (phew).  If the ANC drops below 0.5 they will have to stop.  She said they would retest the lab work on Wednedsday to see how I'm doing.  Here's some info on neutropenia - this looks like an ad for the product that is referenced at the end, but I don't think it is and the info is consistent with other sites just a better synopsis: www.neutropenia.ca/about/optimizing.html

I don't feel awful.  I'm SUPER tired (my blood pressure was also low and partially to blame for th
is).  My tummy is still enjoying that rollercoaster ride.  But overall I'm feeling better than I was last week.  So, I will get a small break from the chemo this week.  Hopefully it will give my stomach a chance to get off the rollercoaster ride for awhile and settle on solid ground.  It's going to be a lonely week - just me and Ben - no visitors, no errands, no leaving the house.  I'm a "bubblegirl", my friend told me to look for a big version of the hamster balls so I can go out.    That's a funny visual. 

The goal for now is to allow the radiation to work while staying healthy healthy healthy!  Roy came home armed and ready.  He stopped by the grocery store on the way home and unveiled Lysol Disenfectant (to spray on all the door handles), Immune Boost vitamin packs, and multiple bottles of hand sanitizer.  This bubble will be as germ free as possible!  More to come from the bubble later in the week...

Every day this week I have pulled out my laptop, opened my site and attempted to start a new update.  As I would review what I had written I realized that I didn't even recognize myself.  Week 2 has been much more difficult than week 1.  The laundry list of side effects has grown this week and has presented new challenges. 

One of the toughest side effects for me is the fatigue.  I'm an active person that doesn't like to "just sit" for very long.  This has sucked all the energy right out of me.  Taking a shower requires a significant effort.  I continue to try to push myself a little but am careful not to cross the fine line of pushing too hard.  I've never been one to take naps, but now I take multiple naps in a day.  I honestly have lost track of the days (that's a scary feeling).  Before starting treatment Roy and I sat with Michelle (super nurse) and she taught us about the effects of treatment and how to manage them.  She gave us a package of information and a list of vitamins, supplements, and meds to pick up and have ready.  We did all the shopping and had to clear out a shelf in the kitchen just to store everything.  I quickly realized that I was not going to remember when to take what or why?  So, as is true to my over-organized self I created a daily tracker (yup, it's color coded - nausea meds are green, daily supplements are pink, etc... lol).  I am tracking every drug, supplement, vitamin, and meal that goes into my body.  This is also the only way I know what day it is! 

The next big side effect on the list is my stomach.  No worries, I won't share the gorey details   But, I will tell you that I have never had so many different stomach issues at one time before and....  it's awful!  There are so many side effects that I could go on and on but what's the point?  If this is what it takes to kick this cancer's ass than it's worth it in the end.  I know that right now this is the biggest challenge of my life, the hardest thing I've ever had to get through.  But, years from now I will look back and this will be a blip in time.  And it's only going to make me stronger in the end!

Not that anyone has ever tried to convince me otherwise, but I can tell you whole heartedly that there is nothing fun about cancer.  It has been difficult for me to find the silver lining here.  I can't figure out why this is happening in my world.  But, what I've learned is that sometimes the "why" doesn't matter, it is what it is and it's something that is here and has to be dealt with.  I've also discovered that the silver lining is what you make it.  There is a reason to smile every day.  There is something or someone that has brought a little sunshine into your life each day.  DON'T MISS OUT ON THAT!  Don't overlook the good things.  A smile has so much power and can make a bad day good if you let it! 

There have been so many angels out there that have touched my heart and brought a smile to my face.  Sometimes it's an email, a bright colored envelope in the mail, a flower, a package, a balloon, a prayer, a call or just a thought sent my way.  I can't tell you how much these angels have meant to me.  I am honestly overwhelmed by all the support and kindness.  Thank you just doesn't seem like enough.  I am grateful for each of you!

xoxo - Sarah

Today has been.  Yup, that's it...  it's just "been".  I was warned and had read that the effects of chemo don't really kick in for 2-3 days, but I didn't really understand that until today.  Today is the 2nd day since chemo and it definitely made itself known.  My stomach is apparently enjoying a rollercoaster ride that I have not been on.  Finding the balance for nausea, constipation, pain, and oh yeah "sanity" is going to be a tough one. 

I also had the pleasure today of once again dealing with the health insurance company.  Just to catch you up since my "Insurance Shenanegans" post on 4/10...  The insurance has found every excuse possible to cause delay after delay after delay.  I spoke to my dr's office and they showed me the fax confirmations from the THREE times they submitted the info that insurance had requested.  I called them yesterday to follow up on the status of the treatment request.  I was told it was still in review.  I explained my situation to the care coordinator on the other end of the line, I told her that while the treatment request was on hold or under review my cancer does not have a "hold button" and is continuing to cause damage.  She "escalated" my treatment request explaining that this would put it at the top of the line with her supervisor and in turn get a response within 24 hours.  I waited exactly 24 hours before calling them back - because, of course, I didn't get a call from them as promised.  I was told that my request for treatment was "declined", "terminated", "rejected"....  Once I picked myself up off the floor I asked why?  Apparently the medical review decided that they didn't think it was an appropriate treatment for my type of cancer.  Ok, ya'll know me, I've done my homework...  I can show you case after case that indicates that the IMRT treatment (what I need) is more effective in treating the specific area of cancer and cause less damage to surrounding organs and tissues than the 3D Radiation (what I'm getting now because the insurance company is wasting as much time as possible).  I was blown away.  She told me that my radiologist had already put in the request for a "peer to peer" review.  This means that he will have a one-on-one chicken fight with the medical administrator at the insurance company.  My only hope at this point is that he can convince them of the long term effects of this decision, etc.   I felt immediately helpless - this is my body, my life on the line, my medical treatment and I don't get a voice.  I was pissed off and smacked in the face at the same time. I knew that getting emotional about it (although that was next to impossible to avoid) was not going to help solve anything and I don't have time or energy to waste being sad for myself...  so I started thinking about my next plan of action.  For now, I still felt crummy and had to go in for radiation treatment.

Radiation was fairly easy today.  I actually almost fell asleep on the table because of the drugs I took for nausea, constipation, pain and sanity this morning.  When I walked in John (one of the techs) said "Hey Sarah how ya feelin...  (this is when he made eye contact) oh, your on the chemo hangover huh?"  Apparently they know the signs well.    Anyway, when I came out of treatment I met with the financial/insurance guru in the office, Jenny.  She had news!  The "peer to peer" review was successful and he agreed with my dr's treatment recommendation and will push for approval.  He said he can't explain why it wasn't approved the first time around...  How does that happen?  Either way, I should start getting the IMRT (better treatment) starting next Monday.  I'm just thankful for that at this point!  

So the afternoon got a little better after hearing that.  I ate part of a turkey sandwich, took some more meds, and have settled in for awhile.  Feet kicked up in "Big Red" (Roy's coveted yet terribly ugly recliner) and Ben resting at my legs.  The doors are open and there's a nice breeze of fresh air crossing my path.  There is more to be grateful for than to be pissed off about...  It's a nice day, I'm glad it has "been".

In follow up to my last post I put new pics on the Photos page of my new haircut and Roy and I going out for our date night!    We had a really nice night.  Roy took me to the Melting Pot for fondue, we just got the good stuff: cheese, chocolate, and wine.  It's always good food there, a great atmosphere, and it's an experience.  It takes awhile to eat fondue so we had a lot of time just to talk and enjoy each others company.  It was really nice.  It was a great kick-off for the first week of treatment.

Treatment - Day 1 - Monday 4/11 - Radiation Only
I'm not gonna lie to you, I was s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d out!  I didn't really have any idea of what to expect or how I was going to feel afterwards.  Yes, I've done my research, taken notes, talked to doctors, talked to other survivors... but the bottom line is that everyone reacts differently so I was nervous.  I went in and they put me on the radiation table for preliminary xrays to confirm that everything was lined up correctly.  This is really kinda cool - they have laser beam "x"s coming out of the ceiling and the side walls of the room that they line up with "x"s they drew on my body last week.  Then the machiene starts up and these 4 huge arms come down and kind of wrap around me.  The beams come on then the arms rotate, treat another area and so on.  In the end it takes about 20 minutes and I'm done.  Today they made the "x"s that they drew on permanent with a tattoo.  I went 35 years without a tattoo and what do I end up with?  Cancer dots - lol!  Go figure.  In the end the stress and anxiety caused more side effects than the actual treatment did   Roy and I stopped and grabbed a bite to eat on the way home and spent the evening on the couch.  So far so good. 

Treatment - Day 2 - Tuesday 4/12 - Chemo & Radiation
I should just copy/paste the first 3 sentences from the the paragraph above, pretty much felt the same way walking into the chemo room.  Roy went with me today to hold my hand and I can't tell you how much that eased my mind.  Everyone in my oncology office is awesome and super helpful and always try to make me as comfortable as possible which is greatly appreciated.  Michelle (aka supernurse) came in to see me right away and tell me everything was going to be fine!  (thanks Michelle - love ya)  The room is set up with big comfty reclining chairs and not so comfty chairs for visitors   They are all set up in a circle of 10 so you can see other Superwomen like me fighting the beast.  I'd have to say this was the best part of the day.  Being able to talk to other women (some are on their last treatment, some on their second) and share war stories, tips and tricks was so beneficial to me.  If you are on this site, you know me...  I didn't sit in the chair in silence - I made friends!  It was a LONG day and I'm amazed at how many bags of fluids and drugs were put into my body.  We got there at 9:00 and the drips started by 9:40.  They loaded me with fluids, steroids, anti-nausea drugs, and other prep supplements before even starting the chemo drugs.  At 12:30 I was "unplugged" to go downstairs for radiation treatment.  Met with the radiology doctor briefly before treatment to see how I'm doing and if I had any questions.  They explained that while it hasn't had an impact yet, it will start changing my appetite and eating habits, digestive system will have a big impact, and I will become lethargic - Yay!  Sounds like so much fun!  Something to look forward to   Anyway, had my treatment and returned to the chemo room.  She plugged me back in and started the first drug: Taxol.  Ok, here's the best part, Roy went and pick up Wendy's for us to have for lunch.  Yup, I ate fast food while getting chemo.  Didn't anticipate that being an option - and honestly don't know that it will ever happen again, but thought I'd enjoy it while I could.  The first drug ran for an hour then she started the last one: Cisplatin.  She gave me an extra dose of anti-nausea meds for this one and got it going.  A total of 6 bags of fluids/drugs were given to me today.  I spent a lot of time expelling all that fluid throughout the day too - lol.  We were out of there around 3:30p.  6.5 hours of cancer treatment is a long exhausting day.  But, so far I'm feeling ok.  I'm tired but feeling good. 

Roy was such great support today.  He held my hand when I was scared, made me laugh when I needed it, kept me entertained to distract me, and kept me safe and loved.  I'm glad he was able to take the day to be with me.  As I've mentioned I am completely overwhelmed by everyone's kindness and generosity.  All the smiles, love, and happy thoughts that everyone has sent have made such a huge impact on me.  You have given me strength, friendship, and smiles when I need them most - I will never be able to thank each of you enough.  Please know that I appreciate you and you are precious to me.

xoxo - Sarah

After a long day on Friday of fighting with health insurance and calling doctor's offices I am finally on the calendar to start treatments on Monday (4/11).  I actually am to the point now where I just want to get it started so I can get it over with!  The politics and policies of health insurance have caused some undue delays and stress.  My doctors want to start treatment as soon as possible but the insurance has yet to approve IMRT (radiation treatment).  I called insurance and was told that my case request was cancelled - yeah, that's right, CANCELLED!  They explained that because the paperwork from my doctors office was not submitted on time (although it had been submitted) that the request had been cancelled.  I explained my situation and asked if now that they had all the paperwork they could please re-open my request for treatment - their response "no".  Just "no".  Yup, that's when I snapped.  They were able to reiterate again and again what my problem was but never offered me a solution.  It's ironic because I had just told someone how great the insurance was being with everything, they have a great cancer resource center, they have nurses calling to check in, the have life support specialists calling to check in...  but now they are going to screw me over by not approving my potentially life-saving treatment?  WOW!  I was getting no where with insurance and my oncology office was calling in on the other line.  The nurse practitioner, Michelle, is fantastic, she told me not to worry about it that they have people in their office to deal with the insurance companies for me and they would take care of it.  My shoulders relaxed a little and I was able to take a deep breath.  I then got a call from the radiologist that while insurance has not yet approved the IMRT treatment, we can go ahead and get started with a 3-D radiation treatment.  Apparently this is a lower grade type of radiation treatment, but it will at least get things going.  As soon as insurance approves the IMRT they will switch treatments.  I've added my appointments to the Calendar page, I'll be getting radiation Monday through Friday and chemo on Tuesday.

On a happier note, I made the decision to get a new look!  I went to my hair salon this weekend and chopped my hair off!    Not shaved, just cut.  They aren't sure if I will lose all my hair during treatment but there's a good chance I will.  And, as I've said before - who cares?  It's just hair, it will grow back.  This is the least of my worries through all this.  But, I figured shorter hair will be easier to manage throughout treatment and if it does fall out it won't be quite as shocking.  So I went for a "short and sassy" look.  I've never taken the leap and cut my hair this short before.  That's a scary venture for a chick ya know but, honestly, I love it!  It's fun, cute, easy to do, and feels awesome.  I'll post pictures of it soon.

Roy and I are making the most out of this weekend, enjoying food, drinks, and each other before all the treatments begin.  Tonight is date night.  I have a new dress, new hair, and an amazing husband...  it's going to be a great night!  

xoxo - Sarah

I finally have some good news to share! As mentioned on my last update I had my PET scan and consultation with the radiologist on 3/31. Just went back today and learned that the PET scan had no surprises! They don't see any other spread of the disease! Yay! Deep breath... and.... smile! It was a huge relief to hear this. We now have a clear picture of what we are facing and where it is trying to hide. I have a walnut sized mass that we are targeting with Radiation. He found some activity in a nearby lymph node that he will treat as well. Today he did some additional preliminary scans that will allow them to set up the appropriate beam angles, depth and strength. This process takes 3-4 days. Then I'll go in for a "dry run" to verify that they have everything set up correctly.

Treatments are expected to begin on Monday, April 11th. I will have radiation Monday through Friday each day. Chemo will be added on Mondays. The chemo works to help boost the effects of the radiation. This plan will continue for 7 weeks. We will then retest and verify that the treatment was effective.

I'm still recovering from surgery, but it's going well. It's hard to live in slow motion. I've found myself pushing a little too hard sometimes and crash the next day. But, every day is getting a little better and I find I can go a little further. I was a little relieved to hear that I get this week as a "bonus" recovery week before starting treatment. It will possibly give me a couple of "feel good" days to enjoy.

In an effort to keep spirits high and keep laughing I invited a few girlfriends to join me this past weekend for wig-a-palooza! Like I said, if I hafta do it, I'm going to do it with flair! We all met at a wig store in the mall and I'm pretty sure between the six of us we tried on every wig in the store. We had a lot of fun laughing at the ridiculous and surprisingly found a few new styles that we really liked! I left the store armed with a few new looks to pull on when needed. I've attached a few pics to the photos page for you all to enjoy, these are my friends, my sisters, my ya-ya's.

I must tell you all how very grateful I am for all of your support, prayers, happy thoughts, and love. I was talking to Roy last night at dinner about how overwhelmed I am by all the kindness and generosity. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. I feel so blessed to have so many dear friends sending me smiles and love, co-workers reaching out with an unbelievable amount of support, family wrapping me in blankets of support and love, and the kindness of neighbors and other aquaintances. Getting the mail is the highlight of my day. There's nothing better than finding a bright colored envelope in the mix of bills and junk mail. I don't think I could ever thank you all enough. Every act has warmed my heart and brought smiles and laughter into my life at a time when I need it most. With all of your help I feel like I am armed and ready for battle. Bring it on cancer, I'm ready to kick your butt!

With love and a big hug for each of you,

Sarah

Hi Everyone-

Thought it was time for me to follow-up on my own. I've been home for just over a week now and my recovery from surgery is going very well. Roy, Ben, and Kitty have managed to keep me smiling everyday. My incision is healing well and while uncomfortable it's honestly a lot better than having the big masses in there. I'm already starting to wean off the pain meds and am wanting to get up and do more. I don't "sit and collect dust" easily.

Yesterday Roy and I met with my oncologist to follow-up on surgery, review the pathology reports, and discuss treatment plans. I know many of you have been waiting anxiously for this information. The pathology from the surgery showed Metastatic Endocervical Adenocarcinoma. This means this is a recurrence of my cervical cancer from 2008. It has spread to both my ovaries and some surrounding tissue. This is an extremely rare situation especially considering my age - I'm officially an anomaly. It's also behaving very aggressively, so we are planning to treat it very aggressively. Tomorrow I will go to the hospital to have a port placed. The port allows for quick access to the veins for blood draws and chemotherapy. The procedure for placing a port is fairly common out-patient procedure. Next Thursday (3/31) I have a consultation with a radiologist and a PET Scan. The PET will show a much more detailed picture of what's happening. My doctor said that the nearby organs that he had access to appeared to be disease free and healthy, the PET will show any abnormalities that cannot be seen by the naked eye along with other organs that he couldn't see like the lungs. The hope is that there aren't any mets (visible abnormalities) in the scan, but we won't know that until the week of April 4th. The final treatment plan is dependent on these results, but the projected plan is to have targeted external radiation performed 5 days a week (mon-fri) along with chemotherapy one day a week (mon or tue). As I mentioned this is a very aggressive plan, but one thing my doctor said is "we will never look back and question if we fought hard enough". He feels that I'm young, healthy, strong, and determined enough to get through this.

As is true to form for me, I researched and prepared for this meeting with the doctor ahead of time. I came with three pages of questions (yes, it was color coded for those of you that know me well). While I didn't have the opportunity to ask all my questions, Roy helped to make sure I asked the big ones. I will meet with Michelle, the phenomenal nurse practitioner, next week to answer any additional questions. We did ask about side-effects to all this treatment. He said many of the side effects that hear about from chemo and radiation are now manageable. There are meds for the nausea and things that can help boost the white blood cells. Some things they can't really do much about is the extreme fatigue (which I will deal with) and the hair loss. Yup, that's right, I'm going to be bald soon. But, honestly, it's hair... it will grow back, who cares? It will be interesting to see what my head really looks like. Oh, and I'm going to start a betting pool on what my natural hair color is which will be discovered as it grows back lol.

It's going to be a challenging journey and the next few months are going to be tough. But, I am ready for the fight and more determined than ever to win! I can't thank you all enough for the love, support, and happy thoughts that have been sent my way. I will be in touch again soon.

With great appreciation and lots of love,

Sarah

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to send a quick note out to let you all know that Sarah was able to come home from the hospital late this afternoon. We are happy to leave the IV, cold hospital floor, and questionable food behind us and look forward to getting her completely settled back at home. While we did have some very good care from most of the nursing staff during our stay, there really is no place like home.

Sarah is very excited to be able to catch up on all of the terrible TV shows she loves that she has recorded on our DVR, most of which she has already watched while in the hospital, but was too sedated to remember, and to spend some quality time with our dog Ben & the kitty J

We also received several cards in the mail today which was perfect timing for her return home. The well wishes that you all have sent via flowers, card, or email (I read every one to her) always bring a smile to her face. As a matter of fact, my primary job upon her return home was finding quality spots around the house for the many, many flower bouquets she has received to date.

No new medical news as of yet, our next appointment with the specialist will be next Wednesday (we may get the pathology results back before that time, but won’t really know what they mean until sitting down with the doctor) and as soon as we know something firm we will pass along the news. The main goal now remains recovering from the surgery.

Thanks,

Roy